If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, a Letter Release is a helpful activity to help you, or a child get through what can be a very difficult time.
I learned about the Balloon Therapy concept at a Grief Conference that I attended several years ago. It became very helpful when not long ago my Mom passed away, and then not long after, my Dad. It was difficult for me to even say the words “passed away” or “died” with the name Mom or Dad attached. But Balloon Therapy helped me get through difficult times and overcome the pain. It was helpful immediately by reducing the pain and gave me a new view on life.
Originally Balloon Therapy was used with balloons but unfortunately, after balloons come to the ground, small animals consume them and often suffocate. So, I revised it by using two pieces of biodegradable paper and works the same. I still call it balloon therapy or “letter release”. You simply write a list as a note to your loved one who passed away. Leave it in a special place to honor them (church, park, by a tree, etc.). This works for both adults and children, males and females, and even for children who may have lost a pet they loved. Try this yourself and use it with children as well. I hope it is as helpful as it has been for me and many others who have learned this technique. PHBS/PCS (DeCarli, J. Copyright 2009)
I learned about the Balloon Therapy concept at a Grief Conference that I attended several years ago. It became very helpful when not long ago my Mom passed away, and then not long after, my Dad. It was difficult for me to even say the words “passed away” or “died” with the name Mom or Dad attached. But Balloon Therapy helped me get through difficult times and overcome the pain. It was helpful immediately by reducing the pain and gave me a new view on life.
Originally Balloon Therapy was used with balloons but unfortunately, after balloons come to the ground, small animals consume them and often suffocate. So, I revised it by using two pieces of biodegradable paper and works the same. I still call it balloon therapy or “letter release”. You simply write a list as a note to your loved one who passed away. Leave it in a special place to honor them (church, park, by a tree, etc.). This works for both adults and children, males and females, and even for children who may have lost a pet they loved. Try this yourself and use it with children as well. I hope it is as helpful as it has been for me and many others who have learned this technique. PHBS/PCS (DeCarli, J. Copyright 2009)
Part 1: Write two letters
LETTER #1:
In the first paper write down a list of things that your loved one left you that are important. This can include memories, activities you did together, things they enjoyed, traditions they gave to you, things that you enjoy because of them, etc. Take as long as you need to think and write them down or add as you think of things. These are all the things that they gave you that you will keep in your heart, as part of you that will remain with you. Keep this list with you at all times, as long as you need. When you feel down and miss them, take a deep breath and look at the list. If you ever need to add things to the list, that is okay. When you look at the list, remember all the special moments you had, the special things in life they shared, and the memories that stay with you. |
LETTER #2:
In the second piece of paper, make another list. Now this list might be more difficult to write, but is necessary to let go of the pain. And remember it is alright to stop for a moment to cry. It is part of this exercise. This is all about how you feel and to express those feelings. So this list might include the hugs they gave you, the walks you took with them, maybe them making dinner for you, or them doing outdoor activities with you, going to the movies, talking with them, etc. Unfortunately when someone passes away these are the physical things that go with them. It is these things on this list that unfortunately because they are no longer with you are no longer possible. List these on the paper (remember that these can also be listed as memories on Letter #1). |
Part 2: Release Your #2 Letter
Find a special place to leave the letter, such as a park bench, church, tree, or favorite place you would go with them. As you leave it take a deep breath and exhale slowly, tell them anything you feel at that moment from “Thank you” to “I love you and will miss you”. As it is released you release those things that you can no longer have, remembering the special memories they gave you to keep. As you walk away from the paper, keep in mind the wonderful memories they gave you. Once you have left the letter for your loved one, read the first list you wrote on Letter #1. Remember all the special things and memories that are now part of your life and live within you.
Part 3: Keeping Your Letter
Keep this list (Letter #1) with you as long as you need to refer back to it. Soon the loss will be filled with memories that become part of you. At times when you feel badly and miss them, refer to your list again and take a deep breath to help remind you of the special things they left you with.
For more information on grieving your loss and if you need help
If you feel that you need help getting through the loss of your loved on, it is ok to ask for help. The American Psychological Association provides additional information on coping with the loss of your loved one.
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