Letter Release: Getting through the Loss of a Loved One
If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, coping with grief can feel overwhelming. Engaging in a Letter Release—a simple three-step process—can offer comfort and healing for both you and your child during this challenging time. Inspired by Balloon Therapy, which I learned at a grief conference, I developed a new approach using biodegradable paper, combined with mindfulness techniques to express and honor our feelings—especially after the passing of my own parents. I highly recommend exploring this activity, as a powerful healing tool. Remember, everyone's grief journey is unique, and seeking additional support or resources can be a valuable part of your healing process.
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This meaningful practice allows you to write messages to those you've lost and leave them in a special place, providing solace and a new perspective on life as you honor their memory. Suitable for adults, children, and even those grieving a beloved pet, I hope this technique proves as helpful to you as it has been for me and many others (DeCarli, 2009).
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Step 1: Write Two Letters
For this activity, you will write two letters.
- The first letter is one that you will keep with you for as long as you need—perhaps in your pocket or somewhere easily accessible. It is a personal keepsake to remind you of your loved one.
- The second letter is one that you will write to your loved one or the person you lost. The instructions below will guide you through this meaningful activity.
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Letter #1
On a piece of paper, write down a list of things that your loved one left you that are important. These can include:
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Letter #2
On a second piece of paper, make another list that is a letter to your loved one. This may be more difficult to write, but it’s an important part of the process—allow yourself to feel and express your emotions. It’s okay to stop and cry if you need to. This list, for example, can include:
These are the physical aspects of your loved one that are no longer with us. It’s important to allow yourself to let go of these, as part of your healing process. For the love and honor of your loved one, it’s okay to let go of what is difficult to hold onto. Remember, your loved one would not want you to feel hurt, sad or overwhelmed. By letting go of these, you can focus on cherishing the beautiful memories you shared—memories that that will always be with you, and those that you can also include in Letter #1. |
Step 2: Release Letter #2
Find a special place to leave your second letter—such as a park, a favorite spot, or a meaningful location you shared with your loved one. This location can also be a place you visit when you miss them, on their birthday, or during other meaningful moments.
When you are ready, as you leave the letter, take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and express your feelings aloud or silently—for example, "thank you," "I love you," or "I will miss you." This act symbolizes releasing what you can no longer hold onto, while cherishing the love and memories you shared. It’s a moment of connection, healing, and hope.
When you are ready, as you leave the letter, take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and express your feelings aloud or silently—for example, "thank you," "I love you," or "I will miss you." This act symbolizes releasing what you can no longer hold onto, while cherishing the love and memories you shared. It’s a moment of connection, healing, and hope.
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Choose a meaningful spot—perhaps a park bench, a tree, or a place you visited with your loved one. As you leave the letter, remember that you are also releasing the pain of not having these things anymore. Keep in mind the wonderful memories they left you.
Please remember, this act of releasing your letter is about honoring your loved one and connecting with nature. Kindly choose a meaningful, natural spot where you can gently place your letter without leaving any trash or litter behind. Let’s respect the environment and keep these places beautiful for everyone. Once you’ve left the letter, take a moment to recall the love and special moments you shared, knowing they remain a part of you. Afterward, read the list you wrote in Letter #1. Reflect on all the special things and memories that are now part of your life and live within you. |
Step 3: Keep Letter #1
Keep Letter #1—the list you created—in a safe place for as long as you need, but in a place for easy access such as in your pocket, etc. It is a cherished reminder of your loved one, living within you every day.
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When you feel sad or miss them, take a moment to center yourself. Begin by taking a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and as you do, imagine a warm, comforting hug from your loved one. Feel the love and safety in that embrace. Then, exhale very slowly, releasing any tension or sadness you may be holding. Allow yourself to connect with the feeling of love and gratitude for the memories you cherish.
After this calming breath, revisit your list and remember the special things they left you. Feel free to add to the list as needed. Over time, these memories will help fill the space left by your loss and become a part of who you are. |
Need Support? We Are Here For You
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988 Lifeline (dial "988" to call, text, or chat)
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Recommended Citation
DeCarli, J. (2009). Letter Release: Getting through the Loss of a Loved One (Public Health Behavior Solutions). https://www.procarseatsafety.com/letterrelease.html
