Letter Release

Letter Release: Getting through the Loss of a Loved One

If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, navigating your grief can be overwhelming, but engaging in a Letter Release can provide comfort and healing for both you and your child during this challenging time. Inspired by Balloon Therapy introduced at a grief conference I attended, I developed a new approach using biodegradable paper to express and honor our feelings, especially after the passing of my parents. This simple yet profound practice allows you to write messages to those you've lost and leave them in a meaningful place, offering solace and a fresh perspective on life as you honor their memory. Suitable for adults, children, and even those grieving a beloved pet, I hope this technique proves as helpful to you as it has been for me and many others (DeCarli, 2009).

First: Write two letters

LETTER #1:
In the first paper write down a list of things that your loved one left you that are important. This can include memories, activities you did together, things they enjoyed, traditions they gave to you, things that you enjoy because of them, etc. Take as long as you need to think and write them down or add as you think of things. These are all the things that they gave you that you will keep in your heart, as part of you that will remain with you. Keep this list with you at all times, as long as you need. When you feel down and miss them, take a deep breath and look at the list. If you ever need to add things to the list, that is okay. When you look at the list, remember all the special moments you had, the special things in life they shared, and the memories that stay with you.

LETTER #2:
In the second piece of paper, make another list. Now this list might be more difficult to write, but is necessary to let go of the pain. And remember it is alright to stop for a moment to cry. It is part of this exercise. This is all about how you feel and to express those feelings. So this list might include the hugs they gave you, the walks you took with them, maybe them making dinner for you, or them doing outdoor activities with you, going to the movies, talking with them, etc. Unfortunately when someone passes away these are the physical things that go with them. It is these things on this list that unfortunately because they are no longer with you are no longer possible. List these on the paper (remember that these can also be listed as memories on Letter #1).

Second: Release Letter #2

Find a special place to leave the letter, such as a park bench, church, a tree, or favorite place you would go with them. As you leave it take a deep breath and exhale slowly, tell them anything you feel at that moment from “thank you” to “I love you and will miss you”. As it is released you release those things that you can no longer have, remembering the special memories they gave you to keep. As you walk away from the paper, keep in mind the wonderful memories they gave you. Once you have left the letter for your loved on, read the first list you wrote on Letter #1. While remember all the special things and memories that are now part of your life and live within you.

Third: Keep Letter #1

Keep this letter, which is the list (Letter #1) with you as long as you need to refer back to it. This is your cherished memory held within you every day. Soon the loss will be filled with memories that become part of you. At times when you feel badly and miss them, refer to your list again and take a deep breath to help remind you of the special things they left you with.

If you need someone to talk to, please call "988" Lifeline

Grieving is difficult and should not be done alone. Share your feelings with others. If a friend or family member is not able to give you the support you need, call and talk with a National Lifeline counselor 24 hours a day by dialing "988" to call, text, or chat (for Veterans, after dialing "988", press "1"; en espanol oprima el "2".

Back to Parent Central

Recommended Citation

DeCarli, J. (2009). Letter Release: Getting through the Loss of a Loved One (Public Health Behavior Solutions). https://www.procarseatsafety.com/letterrelease.html