Grief
Coping with the loss of a loved one
Losing a loved one—be it a family member, child, friend, YouTuber or creator, or even a pet—can be profoundly difficult. Grief is a natural response to death or any significant loss, and this process takes time. It provides an opportunity to mourn and embark on your healing journey. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust is essential. By acknowledging your emotions, seeking support, and granting yourself the necessary time to process your grief, you can start to find comfort. This sense of loss can stem from death or separation, such as a pet running away, a family member or friend relocating for work or college, or changes like divorce or other relationship breakups.
Stages of Grief
The stages of grief (not in any particular order) include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, and they provide a role for understanding common reactions to loss. It is, however, important to recognize that everyone experiences grief in their own unique way and time (EKR Foundation, 2024). Grief is a deeply personal process influenced by factors such as personality, cultural background, life experiences, support systems, and the specific nature of the loss. Because of these individual differences, not everyone will go through each stage, nor will they necessarily experience these feelings in a set order. For some, feelings of denial and anger may be brief or absent; for others, acceptance may come gradually or suddenly.
It is essential to remember that grief is not a strict, step-by-step process or a uniform experience. Instead, it is a highly individualized journey—sometimes marked by overlapping feelings, unexpected shifts, or prolonged periods of certain emotions. Throughout your grief process, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Remember that your emotional reactions are normal, regardless of whether they follow any particular pattern.
It is essential to remember that grief is not a strict, step-by-step process or a uniform experience. Instead, it is a highly individualized journey—sometimes marked by overlapping feelings, unexpected shifts, or prolonged periods of certain emotions. Throughout your grief process, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Remember that your emotional reactions are normal, regardless of whether they follow any particular pattern.
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Denial
Denial serves as a protective defense mechanism, helping you cope with the shock of loss. Indicators of denial may include:
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Anger
Anger is a common reaction in the grieving process, although it may feel hurtful to those around you. Manifestations of anger can include:
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Bargaining
Individuals often struggle with persistent thoughts about what could have been done to prevent the loss or death. This may involve:
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Depression
It is common to experience a deep sense of sadness. Symptoms may include:
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Acceptance
Acceptance is when an individual begins to come to terms with the reality of the loss or death. It does not necessarily mean that the pain or sadness disappears entirely, but rather that the person starts to find a sense of peace with what has happened. Acceptance involves recognizing that the loss is a permanent part of life, and instead of resisting or denying it, the individual begins to integrate the experience into their ongoing life. This allows for healing and the possibility of moving forward, honoring the memory of the loved one while also embracing new opportunities for growth and renewal. It is a gradual process that varies for each person, often requiring patience, self-compassion, and time. |
Essential Strategies for Healing and Coping with Loss
While all these stages are helpful to understand, certain steps are especially vital in your healing process. Among them, Letter Release stands out as a powerful activity to help you get through the loss, while cherishing memories and honoring your loved one.
- Allow Yourself to Feel
Permit yourself to experience and express a full range of emotions—crying, sadness, anger, or even moments of joy. Recognize that feeling deeply is a natural part of healing and grief. Avoid suppressing (hiding) emotions; instead, find healthy outlets such as talking, crying, or engaging in creative activities. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this emotional journey.
- Practice Self-Care
Engage in activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies that nurture your well-being. Avoid alcohol and drugs, as substances can temporarily numb emotions and hinder the healing process. See more on Coping and Self-Care for Adults, and for Children.
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Ways to Support Your Healing
- Talk with People: Share your feelings with those who will listen.
- Create Rituals: Revisit videos, light a candle, or engage in other meaningful activities.
- Limit Online Content and/or Avoid Locations that Make You Feel Badly
- Explore New Connections: Reach out and build new relationships or reconnect with supportive friends and family members. Sharing your feelings with those who listen can be incredibly healing.
- Express and Acknowledge Your Love and Care: Take time to tell those you love and care about how much they mean to you. Saying "I love you" or sharing a heartfelt "love ya, man" with friends or family—whether in casual or meaningful moments—can strengthen your connection. This practice is important because, once someone is gone, expressing love can help both you and others heal from loss. It also nurtures ongoing bonds that support emotional well-being for everyone involved.
Support for Specific Challenges
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Coping with the Loss of a Favorite Creator: Understanding Your Feelings and How to Heal
Losing a beloved creator—such as an artist, musician, or public figure—can leave a deep emotional impact. Explore ways to process your feelings, honor their influence, and find healing as you navigate this unique kind of grief. |
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Getting Through the Holidays After the Loss of a Loved One
The holiday season can be especially difficult when you're grieving. This guide offers compassionate tips and practical strategies to help you manage your emotions, set boundaries, and find moments of peace and connection during this challenging time. |
Need Support? We Are Here For You
Call 988 Lifeline988 Lifeline (dial "988" to call, text, or chat)
Contact Teen Line |
Additional Resources for Parents, Caregivers, and Families
- Loss of newborn (NICU)
- Loss of child due to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
- First Candle: Grief Hotline: 1-800-221-7437
- Loss of child due to unintentional drowning
- Additional Resources
- The MISS Foundation 888-455-6477
- The National Alliance for Grieving Children 866-432-1542
- The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families 503-775-5683
- Our House Grief Support Center (see website for regional phone contacts_
References
Corr CA. Should We Incorporate the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in Our Current Teaching and Practice and, If So, How? Omega (Westport). 2021 Sep;83(4):706-728.
DeCarli, J. (2024). Understanding grief and neurobiology in the digital age. Applied NeuroPublic Health.
https://www.publichealthbehaviorsolutions.com/applied-neuropublic-health/understanding-grief-and-its-neurobiological-impact-implications-for-coping-with-virtual-losses
EKR Foundation. (2024, August 5). Kübler-Ross Change Curve® -. https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/#:~:text=In%201969%2C%20Dr.,progress%20in%20a%20linear%20fashion
Ross Rothweiler B, Ross K. Fifty Years Later: Reflections on the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. Am J Bioeth. 2019 Dec;19(12):3-4.
Tyrrell, P., Harberger, S., Schoo, C., & Siddiqui, W. (2023, February 26). Kubler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885
Corr CA. Should We Incorporate the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in Our Current Teaching and Practice and, If So, How? Omega (Westport). 2021 Sep;83(4):706-728.
DeCarli, J. (2024). Understanding grief and neurobiology in the digital age. Applied NeuroPublic Health.
https://www.publichealthbehaviorsolutions.com/applied-neuropublic-health/understanding-grief-and-its-neurobiological-impact-implications-for-coping-with-virtual-losses
EKR Foundation. (2024, August 5). Kübler-Ross Change Curve® -. https://www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/change-curve/#:~:text=In%201969%2C%20Dr.,progress%20in%20a%20linear%20fashion
Ross Rothweiler B, Ross K. Fifty Years Later: Reflections on the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. Am J Bioeth. 2019 Dec;19(12):3-4.
Tyrrell, P., Harberger, S., Schoo, C., & Siddiqui, W. (2023, February 26). Kubler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885
