Grief
Coping with the loss of a loved one
Losing a loved one—be it a family member, friend, or even a pet—can be profoundly difficult. Grief is a natural response to death or any significant loss, and this process takes time. It provides an opportunity to mourn and embark on your healing journey. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust is essential. By acknowledging your emotions, seeking support, and granting yourself the necessary time to process your grief, you can start to find comfort. This sense of loss can stem from death or separation, such as a pet running away, a family member or friend relocating for work or college, or changes like divorce or other relationship breakups. The following are five common stages of grief. It is followed by the Letter Release, which is a helpful activity to help you get through the loss of a loved one, while cherishing the moments you had with them, that will always live with you and be a part of you. Getting through the holidays after loss of a loved one can also be helpful.
Five Stages of Grief
The following are five common stages of grief that individuals may encounter following the loss or death of a loved one. These stages encompass a range of emotions and behaviors often associated with such loss. Some of these stages serve a protective function, and it's important to recognize that everyone experiences grief in their own unique way.
1. Denial
This stage of grief serves as a protective defense mechanism, helping you cope with the shock of loss. Indicators of denial may include:
This stage of grief serves as a protective defense mechanism, helping you cope with the shock of loss. Indicators of denial may include:
- Refusing to acknowledge or accept the death or loss
- Avoiding conversations about the death or loss
- Denying the reality of the loss or insisting that it is not true
2. Anger
After coming to terms with the reality of the death or loss, experiencing anger is a common reaction in the grieving process, although it may feel hurtful to those around you. Manifestations of anger can include:
After coming to terms with the reality of the death or loss, experiencing anger is a common reaction in the grieving process, although it may feel hurtful to those around you. Manifestations of anger can include:
- Feeling angry at oneself or placing blame on others
- A short temper or a lack of patience
- Assigning blame to others, such as medical professionals, family members, or friends
3. Bargaining
In the bargaining stage of grief, individuals often grapple with persistent thoughts about what could have been done to prevent the death or loss. This may involve:
In the bargaining stage of grief, individuals often grapple with persistent thoughts about what could have been done to prevent the death or loss. This may involve:
- Seeking divine intervention to bring the lost one back
- Making promises in hopes of changing the outcome
- Feeling guilty and blaming oneself for not recognizing signs or taking action that could have averted the death or loss
4. Depression
The earlier stages of grief often serve as a buffer against emotional pain, but eventually, a deep sense of sadness can emerge. Symptoms of this stage may include:
The earlier stages of grief often serve as a buffer against emotional pain, but eventually, a deep sense of sadness can emerge. Symptoms of this stage may include:
- Overwhelming sadness
- Low energy levels
- Difficulty sleeping
- Decreased ability to concentrate
- Feelings of guilt or irritability
- Loss of interest in activities that once brought joy
5. Acceptance
Acceptance is the stage of grief in which an individual comes to terms with the loss and begins to find peace with it.
Acceptance is the stage of grief in which an individual comes to terms with the loss and begins to find peace with it.
Ways to help you
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Grief Resources for Parents and Families
The following resources are helpful for parents who are grieving over the loss of their newborn, a baby due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), unintentional drowning, and additional resources.
For immediate help, call the following below:
For immediate help, call the following below:
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988 Lifeline988 Lifeline (dial "988" to call, text, or chat)
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For Parents
- Loss of newborn (NICU)
- Loss of child due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
- First Candle: Grief Hotline: 1-800-221-7437
- Loss of child due to unintentional drowning
- Additional Resources
For Parents and Families
References
Corr CA. Should We Incorporate the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in Our Current Teaching and Practice and, If So, How? Omega (Westport). 2021 Sep;83(4):706-728.
Ross Rothweiler B, Ross K. Fifty Years Later: Reflections on the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. Am J Bioeth. 2019 Dec;19(12):3-4.
Tyrrell, P., Harberger, S., Schoo, C., & Siddiqui, W. (2023, February 26). Kubler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885
Corr CA. Should We Incorporate the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in Our Current Teaching and Practice and, If So, How? Omega (Westport). 2021 Sep;83(4):706-728.
Ross Rothweiler B, Ross K. Fifty Years Later: Reflections on the Work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. Am J Bioeth. 2019 Dec;19(12):3-4.
Tyrrell, P., Harberger, S., Schoo, C., & Siddiqui, W. (2023, February 26). Kubler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885
