Crying in Toddlers (12-36 months)

Navigating Toddler Crying: Understanding and Supporting Your Growing Child
Between 12 and 36 months, crying takes on new meanings. Your toddler is learning to express complex emotions, test boundaries, and develop independence. During this period, crying often signals feelings like frustration, confusion, or a desire for control.

Developmental Stages and Crying Triggers:

12 to 18 Months: The Communication Gap

Toddlers understand more language than they can speak. Crying is often a way to express frustration over their limited words.

18 to 24 Months: The Independence Clash

As they seek autonomy, they may cry when they want to do things themselves but lack the skills.

24 to 36 Months: Boundary Testing and Emotional Growth

Increased vocabulary leads to more verbal protests, but emotional regulation is still developing, resulting in tantrums and crying.

How to Support Your Toddler

Name the Emotion: Help your child identify and label their feelings. Example: "I see you're upset because you can't have the toy. It's okay to feel sad."

Offer Controlled Choices (see Coping): Giving options helps your toddler feel in control and reduces frustration. Examples: "Would you like the red cup or the blue cup?" or "Do you want to wear the yellow shirt or the green one?"

Establish Routines: Consistent daily schedules and predictable transitions can lessen anxiety and prevent meltdowns.

Create a Calm Space: Set up a cozy corner with books, stuffed animals, or calming toys where your child can self-soothe when overwhelmed (see Coping).

Use Calm, Reassuring Presence: Offer gentle touches, soothing words, and patience. Your calmness helps your toddler regulate their emotions.

Distraction and Engagement: Redirect your child's attention to a different activity or toy to shift their focus away from the source of distress.

Model Calm Behavior: Show your child how to manage emotions by staying calm yourself, especially during tantrums.

Teach Self-Regulation Skills: As they grow, introduce simple techniques like taking deep breaths or counting to three when upset.

Set Clear Boundaries: Consistent and gentle boundaries help your child understand acceptable behaviors, reducing testing.

Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child when they manage their feelings well or follow routines. Example: "Great job calming down after crying!"

Remember: Toddler crying is rarely defiant behavior. It’s a normal response to their emotional and physical growth. Your support helps them learn to manage their feelings over time.

Resources for Support

National Parent Helpline: Available 24/7 to talk with trained advocates who can provide support and guidance. Call 855-427-2736.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: Need assistance during pregnancy or postpartum? Available 24/7 via call or text at 833-852-6262.
Mental Health Services: If feelings of stress, anger, or overwhelm persist, seek professional help.
Visit the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Parenting Website for more guidance and tools.

This information is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. If you have concerns about your child's development, behavior, or emotional health, please consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Always supervise your child during emotional episodes and seek support if you're feeling overwhelmed. Remember, it is okay to ask for help, taking care of yourself is part of caring for your child.

Crying in Toddlers (12-36 months)

Crying in Children (Home)

Crying in Infants (0-12 months)

Crying in Toddlers (12-36 months)

Crying in Children (Home)

​Crying in Infants (0-12 months)

Crying in Infants (0-12 months)