Coping by age

Coping Strategies: A Parent's Guide to Support Your Child's Emotional Regulation

Building coping and regulation skills helps children of all ages manage their feelings and develop resilience. Here are practical activities, including deep breathing and other activities, tailored for preschoolers, school-aged children, teens, and adults, along with tips on how to incorporate them into daily life.

Preschool Children (Ages 3-5)

Key Focus: Developing awareness of feelings and calming methods through simple, sensory-based activities.

Activities:

Feeling Faces Chart: Use pictures showing different emotions. Use the Feelings Thermometer to help your child identify and name their feelings, encouraging vocabulary development.
Deep Breathing with Bubble Blowing: Teach slow breathing by blowing bubbles gently—inhale deeply, then exhale slowly to blow bubbles.
- How to: Pretend to blow bubbles. Inhale deeply through the nose, then slowly blow out as if blowing bubbles.
- Duration: 1-2 minutes
- Tip: Use playful cues like “blow bubbles gently” to make it fun.
Sensory Calming Box: Fill a box with soft toys, textured objects, or calming items for your child to explore when upset.

Music and Movement: Sing calming songs or dance gently to release energy and reduce stress.

Tip: Use gentle language and modeling. Practice these activities regularly during calm moments to build familiarity.

School-Aged Children (Ages 6-12)

Key Focus: Recognizing emotions, practicing mindfulness, and problem-solving.

Activities:

Feelings Thermometer: Use the Feelings Thermometer as a visual scale to help your child rate how they’re feeling and discuss appropriate coping strategies.
Mindfulness Exercise - Square Breathing (Box Breathing): Practice short mindfulness exercises, like paying attention to their breath or senses.
- How to: Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale slowly for 4 seconds, then pause for 4 seconds before the next inhale.
- Visual: Draw a square or trace one with your finger as you breathe.
- Duration: 3-5 minutes
- Tip: Practice during calm moments to prepare for stressful situations.
Create a Calm-Down Kit: Include favorite calming items like stress balls, scented playdough, or a favorite book for use during stressful times.

Problem-Solving Charts: Work together to brainstorm solutions to problems, encouraging independence and confidence.

Tip: Encourage your child to use these tools during transitions, before tests, or after disagreements to build self-regulation skills.

Teenagers (Ages 13-17)

Key Focus: Managing intense emotions, developing self-awareness, and cultivating healthy coping mechanisms.

Activities:

Journaling or Expression Exercises: Encourage daily writing or art to process feelings and reduce stress.
Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Use apps like Headspace or Calm for guided meditation sessions.
Deep Breathing 4-7-8
- How to:
  1. Inhale quietly through the nose for 4 seconds.
  2. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
  3. Exhale slowly through the mouth for 8 seconds.
- Duration: 5-10 minutes as needed, especially during stress or anxiety
- Tip: Use guided recordings or apps to support practice.
- Physical Activity: Promote regular exercise, yoga, or sports as outlets for stress relief.
- Social Support and Communication: Teach ways to express feelings to trusted friends or adults, and practice active listening skills.

Tip: Respect their need for privacy and autonomy. Offer support without pressure and model healthy coping behaviors yourself.

Adults (18+)

Activity: Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)

How to:
1. Close your right nostril with your thumb.
2. Inhale slowly through the left nostril.
3. Close the left nostril with your finger, release the right nostril, and exhale through the right nostril.
4. Inhale through the right nostril, then switch and exhale through the left.
Duration: 5-10 minutes, ideally daily or during stressful moments
Tip: Focus on slow, controlled breaths and maintain a steady rhythm.
See additional, Coping and Self-Care for Adults

General Tips for All Ages

Developing emotional regulation is a journey. Tailor activities to your child’s age and preferences and seek professional help if concerns persist. Your ongoing support and patience make all the difference.

Be patient and consistent.
Validate their feelings— “It’s okay to feel upset.”
Create a safe, supportive environment for practicing these skills.
Celebrate progress, no matter how small.

Resources

Family Resource Center - Child Mind Institute

Seek Support When Needed

In the United States:

Call “988” Crisis Lifeline
Call Teen Line 800-852-8336 or Text TEEN to 839863
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) [nami.org], call 800-950-6264, or Text NAMI to 62640
Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor - Psychology Today

Globally:

Mental Health Helplines: International Directory

Disclaimer

The feelings thermometer is a helpful tool to assist children in identifying and expressing their emotions. However, it is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If your child experiences persistent or intense emotional difficulties, please seek guidance from a qualified mental health professional. This tool is meant to support emotional awareness and regulation in conjunction with appropriate support and intervention.